Well, you know, heaven forbid that the only things I ever write on this blog are sad things.
It's kind of the nature of the beast when I'm just crazy enough to write in a blog the same as I do in my journals. You're really lucky, though, because on the blog I spare you random remarks about the groceries I need to buy, dishes that need done, or complaints about one of my siblings occasionally annoying me. Only the best for you, baby!
The fact is, a lot of really wonderful, amazing things have happened to me, too. I concentrate on those whenever I need to remind myself to keep on living.
I believe I am actually happy more than I am sad.
Most recently, I got a card in the mail from - see if you can follow this - my friend on facebook who actually used to be the mother of a friend of my sister's. Not too hard to get, right? Just a strange sort of connection. I have only met this woman face-to-face about twice in my entire life, but she asked if I would 'friend' her on facebook and, because there was no reason to say no, I acquiesced.
To my surprise, she has faithfully followed my every comment over the past four or five years, and often responded with great humor and grace.
Mind you, following me on facebook is a hazardous thing. I re-post way too many quotes and jokes - I know it - and some people wonder if I'm a real person, I gather, because my mission on facebook is a simple, three-part formula: Either 1. Make them laugh, 2. Encourage or inspire them, or 3. Poke fun at myself.
Occasionally I will give in and just celebrate when something really good happens, or I will mention that I didn't sleep most of the night - as if that is news. Luckily, people humor me in this.
I have no time or patience for people that get too pushy or too whiny on that forum, and every once in awhile someone's personality will be soooo negative that I am forced to block them.
Them, and that weird stalker guy who always said things that were wildly inappropriate to me, and picked fights with all my friends and family. That was a strange experience, but I blocked his ass.
The blog is easier.
I blab, and very seldom do I even know the people personally who read what I have to say.
Even allowed this slight anonymity, I try to spare you a little.
Anyway, the card: It had a puppy on the outside, and inside it read, "I admire you and how far you have come on your journey to overcome adversity. I hope you find a job soon. I am rooting for you!
I am enclosing a belated graduation gift for you.
You go, girl!"
I originally graduated and moved out of my home town about twenty-five years ago now.
And that was no small amount of change the woman sent me!
This is not to blow my own horn. It is to say this: I'm humbled that I should have gotten my message right and that it might inspire people. Even more than that, I'm grateful for all these little miracles that keep me going on my path. These kinds of things happen to me all the time. It's crazy that sometimes I forget and despair. Yep, that would be why I'm actually a crazy crazy, dangerous individual - that I could forget something so obvious as the great mystery and the beauty that makes life so worth living. When I do get down, I simply forget to even
look for those things, or to those people.
Shame on me.
I have to be positive.
I have to be inspiring.
I have to be an optimist.
I don't do it because I'm a saint or because I need the attention or because I need to look good.
I do it because I have to be a role model for my children.
I want so much more for them than I was ever able to have, and so I want to raise them in such a way that they have all the skills they need to get those things for themselves.
And they have got to be positive and optimistic, and that will be inspiring.
