Sunday, February 24, 2013

Redemption for Single Parents: Spread the Truth

I was driving to church this morning listening to the local Christian radio station when some sort of an ad or program came on talking about redemption for the broken-hearted.
Some girl named Miranda came on and gave her brief testimony of how, although she came from a broken home with a single mother, she has managed to make something valuable of her existence.
I have to admit, I didn't listen after that.
I almost started yelling at my radio, but checked myself because my kids were in the backseat.
Maybe there was some kind of redeeming moment for the broadcast after that statement, but having heard many like it, I don't really think so.
What I wanted to yell - scream, even - is "Hey! My children are in the car listening to this complete and utter crap!" How dare they not consider all of their listeners? How dare they not consider the implications of including "broken home" and "single mother" in the same sentence? Do they have any real concept of what it must be like for my children to grow up in a household that people are calling broken?
In this century, there are a lot of divorced parents. It is archaic to continue to uphold a two-parent family as the only kind of family that works. I have known close, loving families in which none of the members were actually blood-related. I happen to be lucky enough to know of quite a few exceptional single parents with successful, happy kids. A family is a group of people who mutually love and respect one another, people who have each others' backs.
I agree that divorce can be very hard on kids, but kids are a lot tougher than we give them credit for. They can bounce back quicker and better than most adults, because in many ways they're more flexible than we are. For example, they do not see their home as broken unless some idiot refers to it in that manner.
Living in a single parent home does NOT make your home broken.

A broken home is a home in which there are two parents that don't mutually love and respect each other, thus breaking down the lines of communication and causing abuse or neglect. A broken home is where there is violence and/or damage done. In the long run, my children are proving to be happier and healthier than I think they would have been.
MY home is not BROKEN, thank you very much. We are the opposite of broken. My children know that their mother loves them more than anyone else in the entire world, and that if they ever need me for anything, they can tell me and talk to me about it and I will be there. They do well in school. My son has a few truly close friends whom he can count on, while my daughter has a following of the entire 24 kids of her classroom who all adore her, not to mention her teacher. My son is reading three levels above the norm, while my daughter will read aloud to anyone at all who is willing to listen. They are healthy physically, mentally, and socially. I'm sure certain people would have it that my children are secretly over-compensating for their misery at the loss of their real family, but that would just be sour grapes because we don't fit their mould. Last I heard, it is love that makes a family. My family is whole.
You may say that you come from a divorced family if that is the case, but I would like "broken" to be removed from vocabulary concerning this subject. Broken is a different topic entirely.

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