This Just in: Parrot Knows O Captain My Captain!

Rough night at work.

In a desperate attempt to avoid hurting the feelings of a nice older gentleman, I begged my boss to let me off early so that I could avoid getting asked out on a date or proposed to.

Despite all my best efforts, Walt Whitman still caught up with me and gave me his telephone number. I mean, he's a nice guy and everything (I happen to like eccentric men); He's just not my type of eccentric. I'd have to live out in a cabin in the woods without transportation - but with a parrot!

I was married to a man who lived out in the woods. I might have liked it The woods are lovely, dark and deep... if he had let me out once in a while...

Okay, so really, the man does strongly resemble Walt Whitman, except in one important particular: He doesn't read.

I can't do it again.

That's like an Evagelical Christian going out with an Athiest who hates group singing and potlucks.

Could they just be friends?

I like to think so.

I like to think that, dating being off the table, a man and a woman could just hang out and enjoy - what? What? If they have nothing in common?

Debates about group singing, potlucks and religion?

That doesn't seem like a good idea.
(Yes, yes, I know in what other particular the man obviously does not resemble Walt Whitman...)

I value literacy, literature, music, art, drama...

I love museums, travelling, exloring different cultures, painting

talking about plot and character development,

watching The Daily Show, Sherlock, classic films, innane British television, re-runs of The West Wing...

plotting random acts of kindness,

cooking various cuisines...

Oh, so many things!

But none of them include being ponderously talked down upon for long stretches of time, or being regaled with lies that are aimed to impress people - and these are perhaps the real reasons that I tried to give this faux Whitman the slip.