Home is Where the Heart Is

I read an article today that says: "Two years ago Manistee County tallied 144 homeless people. This year’s count was taken on Jan. 23 and the total, which isn’t completely finished, is much higher — 361."

 

It's a small town, with a lot of churches and all the charities you can think of, and the people all seem nice enough, and I say that this situation is inexcusable. I know times are hard and money is shorter than before, but I say get to work! And I'm not talking about the people who have no homes.

I say, Manistee, pull up your own bootstraps instead of judging these people and insisting that there's too much wellfare fraud and that they should pull up their bootstraps and get to work so that they can earn what they need for themselves.

A lot of them don't even HAVE bootstraps.

And, as I've heard from more than one person since the economy took a dive, "a lot of us are just a paycheck away from disaster" ourselves.

The unexpected lay-off.

The fire.

Whatever happens, it's unexpected.

And some people don't have family who are always available or able to help them.

 

I'm a certified teacher. I worked really hard to get my degree, fighting my ex-husband and his family every step of the way (They would say I should get my priorities straight, quit college, and get a job so I could take care of my husband; he wouldn't let me go to the school of my choice because it was too far a drive for me to be taking away from him).

 

 I got all A's (except for that freakin crazy, off-the-wall poetry class - and the History and Structure of the English Language zzzzzzz...) I did everything I was supposed to do to be successful in life, except that I married (too young) someone who turned out to be controlling and mentally abusive. So when I left him, it was like this big MISTAKE in the eyes of this STILL backward society in Northern Michigan.

 

 I couldn't keep my children because the overcrowded shelters have a limit on how long you can stay and the limited job market didn't prepare me for the day I had to move out. Before that, because I didn't have a home, an "enlightened" judge decided that my paranoid schizophrenic husband was more stable than I was and sent our children to live with him.

 

My family was all out of state, and all pretty hard up after trying to help me with court costs. So I ended up homeless for much longer than I ever expected, even sleeping in the back of my van parked outside the back lot of an abandoned K-mart in Grand Rapids one night. I couldn't get help because I didn't qualify for assistance without my children. I couldn't ask for help without being treated like a lazy criminal.

 

No children, no job, no home, no support - I suffered nightly from anxiety attacks and nightmares to the point that I could no longer sleep. I wanted to be dead, so I sought counseling at the local mental health agency, and they turned me down because (despite my ex-husband's words in court) I was not "crazy" enough to qualify.

 

And so what did I do? I had to be STRONGER and work HARDER, because every time I wanted to just QUIT or even just end it all, the faces of my children floated before my eyes.

 

I MUST fight to be who I know I was meant to be and to do what I was meant to do, because my children are looking to me to show them the way.

 

I just feel COMPELLED to say outright today that not everyone DESERVES the poverty they live in, or CAUSED it themselves; that we are all innocent until proven guilty, and I will not rest until society learns to understand and do their part without judgement. I feel a fool for talking about this on a public forum, because God knows people judge and presumably my past could come back to haunt me if it's all out there in the open for everyone to know about. People will make assumptions about my character or personality or identity that simply are not true. They may hate me for whining about my life or assume that I'm allowing myself to be a victim, be embarrassed to look me in the face or to respond to me. I'm past caring. If there's one thing I've learned from my life to date, it's that the opinion of others is not the be-all end-all of the world. Not in the larger realms of thought, where life really matters.

 

Please help the homeless in your area in any way that you can: Money, volunteering, donations - with all the cuts hurting every kind of industry everywhere, always always remember that there are those who need the help even more than you.

Think of their children.

Their children didn't ask for the life they're living.

If those children never see any kindness or compassion from others, just what exactly do you think they will become? What kind of people will they be?

It's not charity.

It's loving thy neighbor, and "there but by the Grace of God go I"  - it's just plain the right thing to do whatever religion or creed you may live by.

 

I'm off my soapbox now.

 

I'm grateful to have food and shelter and to be near my children and to see them every weekend.
I am not for one second saying "poor me - please help me." I don't need anything right now, especially not pity. I'm lonely but I'm certain that I am doing the right thing and that things will work out. For the sake of my children, I would believe anything, I can do anything.

And I also have to do it for myself.
All I'm saying, again, is that I don't want to hear one more person say anything negative about people who get help from the state or whom they don't think are doing their share. It's condemning an entire class of people without knowing or understanding enough of them in person. Maybe I do see with my rose-colored glasses the good in everyone. I have yet to comprehend what precisely is wrong with that. When it comes to how you view other people, idealism is the braver choice over cynicism.